


Memegward

by kissxmyxsass



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 13:06:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13190724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissxmyxsass/pseuds/kissxmyxsass
Summary: Harry Potter but with memes and stuff. I was inspired by a Tumblr post. They still don't have phones. You can think whatever the fuck you want about it. I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy playing in the distance.All rights to They See Me Rowling They Hatin.PS. I lost a bet. Don't judge me XD





	Memegward

There was nothing special about Susan. Like literally. She isn’t even our protagonist. But Hermione is. And Hermione is so fucking special that you may or may not believe me. She travelled back in time. How? Minerva Mc let her. Why? That way Hermione could study more. What a nerd.  
She was just studying in the dorm but suddenly the first grader came to her.  
‘Are you Hermione?’ he asked.  
‘No, I’m Fred’ answered Hermione serioulsy.   
It was a running joke that everyone always answers ‘’No, I’m Ferd” to question like that one.  
‘I’m kidding. How can I help you?’ Hermione was curious what a first grader would want from her.  
‘Where can I find Harry Potter? I’ve heard you’re his friend. I’m Silvia by the way’ Silvia smiled with a full smile.  
‘He should be in principal’s office’ Hermione thought that answer like this sounded suspicious ‘They are friends. For fucks sake that sounded even worse!’ She rolled her eyes and looked at Silvia. She was so busy thinking about good wording in sentences, she totally forgot about her. ‘Sorry little girl. Albert Dumpsterfire is helping Harry with some… stufff. That’s why I called them friends. They aren’t friends like friends, but...”  
‘You’re a weirdo’ said Silvia and she left.  
Hermione thought that Silvia was a bitch but didn’t had time for that shit. She had to prepare for next day’s lessons, because a quiddich match was planned in the evening. Harry and Ron would be mad at her if she wouldn’t come. And also she wanted to have some fun.   
She looked surprised at a clock. She was late for quidditch match. She started to hurry and left the dorm.   
‘Bye Minerva’ she told to Cockshranks.   
Suddenly two students started arguing what would be a better name for Newt Scamander. That heppened sometimes.  
‘NEW YEAR’S STOMACH!’ shouted one student.  
‘NERD SANDWICHER!’ shouted another.  
‘The second one is better’ grinned Hermione.  
‘Thanks Hermy! But what about Albert Patrick Bob Steven Tom Doublewindow? He should have a better name too’ worried student one.  
‘Dickdoor? Nah, he’s fine. Guys do you want to watch quiddich with me?’ asked Hermione. She liked to make friends and these two guys seemed nice.  
‘Yeah, we were just going to see quiddich match. Right, Andy?’   
‘Yep. I’m Andy and that’s Peter’ he introduced his friend.  
‘Nice to meet you. I’m Hermione… as you already know. Let’s go guys.’  
Andy and Peter didn’t argue. Most students cared about quiddich, because it was fun to watch.   
They were walking down the corridor when Peeves appeared.  
‘Here come dat boi’ giggled Peter.  
‘O shit waddup’ answered Peeves and then dissapeared.  
‘Ayy, lmao. That was unexpected’ laughed Hermione. She always had problems with Peeves, because he was a dickhead. 

Hermione and guys sat on the stands and they didn’t have a good view on the match. But Hermione had a good view on one girl with carbon hair… Fuck it, her hair was black, her eyes blue and shirt yellow. Hermione was looking at her but then she remembered that she was straight and stopped. Instead she hit guy in front of her who kept saying ‘’10/10 I would bang” about every player.  
‘Why?!’ he turned around surprised.  
‘I can’t hear anything, because of you ducktail’   
‘My father will hear about that’ joked guy.  
‘That was a good one’ said Hermione with finger guns. ‘Peter, Andy, I don’t have time for this shit. I’m going back to dorm”  
‘OK, Hermy’ guys waved sychronised.

Hermione was walking back to dormitory when Peter grabbed her hand.  
‘Hermy, wait a sec’   
She turned around a saw him with a bouquet of flowers.  
‘I want to tell ya something’ he blushed.  
‘SPANK ME DADDY!’ screamed someone at the womping willow.  
‘Man, that’ s not what I meant. I wanted to ask ya if ya will go with me on a date or something’ smiled Peter.  
‘FIRE! EVERYBODY MOVE YOUR ASSES!’ shouted Hagrid at quiddich match.  
‘POTTER’ sighed Hermione ‘I must go’  
‘Is that an answer?’  
‘Sorry P., I’m busy. Go find Becky’  
‘Why her?’ Peter was confused.  
‘She was talking something about sticks. I dunno. Could you check how’s she doing?”.  
‘Alright Hermy, have fun”.

One thing is sure (besides taxes and death) – Hermine didn’t have fun at all. She had to help Harry and Ron as always, while she only wanted to have some fun. When she first met them she didn’t know that they can’t stay away form troubles. At first that annoyed her but after spending too much time with them, she just couldn’t give a fuck about it anymore. She became superhero and a meme.   
After saving these dipshits, she came back with them to the dorm.  
‘TRELAWNEY!’ shouted one of the students.   
‘At the full moon of the thirteenth month of this year’ started Harry ‘That broom I am holding right now will get out of control and attack Snaperous Snapechat. And somebody will die’.  
‘OMG Harry, that was good’ said Ron.  
‘This broom is totally Hufflepuff. It would ruin the whole reputation of Hufflepuffs’ objected some random Hufflepuff.  
‘Your existence ruins reputation of Hufflepuff’ retorted Harry.  
‘BURNED’ jumped Colin Creevey holding a photo of Hermione puching Draco is the face ‘You should say sorry to Harry for that’.  
‘I’d rather be petrified’ said irritated Huff.  
‘Don’t worry Harry’ smiled Hermione ‘I heard that one of Hagrid’s leggy birbs bit today that Huffypuffy guy and he disturbed the lesson’.  
‘So a schack gets to scream and it’s all normal and hounted, but when I do it I’m disturbing class and a nuisance?!’Huff guy got offended.  
And at that moment Hermione got tired of their shit and went to bed. Finito fuckito.


End file.
